Foot-in-Mouth Disorder

I have a disease and it seems to be getting worse with age and with motherhood.

I have never been diagnosed by a doctor, but I know that it is very real and that is causes me much discomfort. I like to refer to it as "Foot-in-Mouth Disorder."

If you have never heard of this issue, here are the symptoms:

• Mouth opening at inopportune moments, spilling forth the worst possible words at the worst possible moment
• Misrepresenting oneself by unintentionally saying something that 1. does not accurately represent what one was thinking or trying to say and 2. can come across as inappropriate or insulting to the receiver
• Making sarcastic jokes that are not seen as such by receiver

This disorder is often genetic, although it has been known to spontaneously strike a person from time-to-time (although, scientists are finding evidence that this may be caused when two latent carriers of the gene pass it on to their offspring).

I myself inherited from my father's line and have struggled with it my entire life. It really does get progressively worse.

Just today, in fact, I made myself appear to be an insensitive, non-accepting jerk, and all because I misunderstood a reference someone else made. Maybe the only cure is to learn the art of self-control and listening. Who knows!

All I know is this: My husband thinks my problem is funny, my dad relates well with it, and one of my supervisors, I'm pretty sure, thinks I'm an idiot.

I just hope I don't pass this gene on to my children....